End the overwhelm.

Get a head start with my researched and field tested tool kit so that your child can thrive too.

End the overwhelm.

Get a head start with my researched and field tested tool kit so that your child can thrive too.

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podcast

New Year, Fresh Start: How to Plan for Your Child’s Best Year Ever!

New Year, Fresh Start: How to Plan for Your Child’s Best Year Ever!

As we all start to get settled into the new year and what our plans are for 2022, it might seem a bit overwhelming on where to start when it comes to our child’s health. There’s a lot of information out there with new ideas and tactics coming out (what seems like) daily. Not to mention the uncertainty that is a constant in all our lives right now! Where do we even start?

That’s why I’m excited to bring to you a new podcast I recorded with my friend, Jessica Sherman, RHN. Jess is an author, speaker, mother, and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner and board certified in Practical Holistic Nutrition. During this show, Jess takes us through how you can set your family up for success this year in 2022 in a simple, loving way. None of Jess’ tips are overwhelming and we dive into what you really want your vision for your life to be with your child.

Things You Will Learn
  • Vision mapping and why that’s just as important in our personal lives as it is in business and work.
  • Why reflecting on the past is helpful when envisioning your future.
  • The Trifecta for Resilient Health – the first steps you should take as a parent to make 2022 your best year yet with your child.
  • How you should tackle your planning based on your personality type (so you don’t burn yourself out!)
  • How to get started creating your own vision.
  • And much more…

Show Notes

  • Where people should start to start envisioning their life in a new way and creating a plan for their family in 2022. (5:41)
  • How to shake off the negative thoughts and voices when you’re trying to write your 2021 vision. (11:47)
  • Should you look back at the past when planning for your child’s future? (15:20)
  • What your first step should be in the planning process. (20:11)
  • Should you dive right in or take things in baby steps? (26:30)
  • If you have older children, involving them in the vision and planning process is key. (29:19)
  • The one thing parents can do to get started today and how to do it. (35:14)
  • How to work with Jess, more about her book “Raising Resilience” and her new podcast coming out, Feeding Families. (38:39)

Resources and Links

Jess’ Website

Jess’ Instagram

Jess’ Facebook

Get Jess’ Book, “Raising Resilience”

Need more help with planning out your year? When you sign up for an annual membership to the My Child Will Thrive Knowledge Vault™ you get access to the planning workshop with me (Tara) and any additional workshops I hold throughout the year! Learn more about this opportunity here!

 

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More about Jess Sherman, RHN

Jess helps kids thrive, and families connect. Along with being a certified teacher, Jess is an author, speaker, mother, and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, board certified in Practical Holistic Nutrition. Her book, Raising Resilience and her coaching programs have guided worried parents of children with learning differences, anxiety, ADHD, ASD and mood disorders towards safe, effective tools to help them reduce reliance on medication and set their kids up for a bright future.

00:01 Tara Hunkin:
This is My Child Will Thrive and I'm your host, Tara Hunkin, nutritional therapy practitioner, certified GAPs practitioner, restorative wellness practitioner, and mother. I'm thrilled to share with you the latest information, tips, resources, and tools to help you on the path to recovery for your child with ADHD, autism, sensory processing disorder, or learning disabilities.

My own experiences with my daughter combined with as much training as I can get my hands on research I can dig into and conferences I can attend have helped me to develop systems and tools for parents like you who feel overwhelmed, trying to help their children. So sit back as I share another great topic to help you on your journey.

A quick disclaimer, before we get started. My Child Will Thrive is not a substitute for working with a qualified healthcare practitioner. The information provided on this podcast is not intended to diagnose or treat your child. Please consult your healthcare practitioner before implementing any information or treatments that you have learned about on this podcast. There are many gifted, passionate, and knowledgeable practitioners with hundreds, if not thousands of hours of study and clinical experience available to help guide you.

Part of our goal is to give you the knowledge and tools you need to effectively advocate for your child so that you don't blindly implement each new treatment that comes along. No one knows your child better than you. No one knows your child's history like you do or can better judge what is normal or abnormal for your child. The greatest success in recovery comes from the parent being informed and asking the right questions and making the best decisions for their child in coordination with a team of qualified practitioners in different areas of specialty.

Today's podcast is sponsored by the Autism, ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder Summit. In order to learn more about the summit and to sign up for free, please go to www.mychildwillthrive.com/summit.

2:05 Tara Hunkin:
Hi, welcome back to the My Child Will Thrive podcast. I'm Tara Hunkin and I am really excited to bring to you an interview I did with my friend and colleague Jessica Sherman.

Jess is going to walk you through her approach with her clients, for how to get a fresh start. Especially since all we've been through in the last couple of years, a lot of us are feeling overwhelmed and we may have fallen off our plans with our children or things have changed for them with everything that's happened in the last couple of years. So this is your opportunity to take a step back and come up with a new plan or a new vision for your child to thrive.

I also want to invite you to join me for a planning workshop that I'm doing this January. You can find a link in the show notes. You can join me where I walk you through my framework for how to figure out where the next best places to start with your child and also I'll walk you through all the free tools we have here at My Child Will Thrive so that you can get a kickstart to your new year too. So without further ado, let's get into the podcast with Jessica Sherman.

3:30 Tara Hunkin:
Hi, everyone. I want to welcome you back to the My Child Will Thrive podcast. I am really excited to have with me today, my friend and colleague Jess Sherman. Jess has been on the podcast before she's been a guest on the summit as well and I keep bringing Jess back because she has a depth of experience.

Jess helps kids thrive and families connect. And along with being a certified teacher, which is really important to have that perspective as a teacher, she's an author, a speaker and a mother, and she's a functional diagnostic nutrition practitioner, board certified in practical holistic nutrition. And she's written a book Raising Resilience along with her coaching programs.

She's been guiding worried parents of children with learning differences, anxiety, ADHD, ASD, and mood disorders towards safe and effective tools to help them reduce reliance on medication and set their kids up for a bright future. So we are always happy to have you back on the podcast. So thanks for joining me here today, Jess.

4:41 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. Thanks for having me back again. It's always a pleasure.

4:44 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. So we're recording this before the end of 2021, but when this airs, we are going to be fresh into the new year, and I asked you if you would come on today to talk with me about how we as parents or not everybody, but some people have the idea of having a new year's resolutions with our kids.

I think especially after the last couple of years we've had, we're just looking for a fresh start and sometimes we need that reset. So what I wanted to talk to you and get your insights on today is how you help people plan for where to start if they want to start fresh, because sometimes we get off track and that happens to all of us the best of times, but we need tools and systems and a thought process to get us through to start fresh again.

5:41 Jess Sherman:
That's a nice, big juicy topic. And I'll tell you an experience that I had about maybe more like a year and a half ago. I started taking my clients through a vision mapping process and partly I started doing this because I did it myself, right? Just as a business person, as a person, as a human, I was asked what do you want their next three years to look like? And I got really interested in this idea of creating the life that you want versus having something imposed on you.

And I sat with that and I noodled it around for a little while. And it's talked about a lot in entrepreneurial circles, right? Designing your life and making decisions based on your values and your objectives and things like that. And I started to think, wow, that's very much applicable to running a family.

Running a family, you can think about it a little bit, like running a business in that you want to have vision, you want to make conscious choices to take you towards that vision. There are some things that you're going to have some gaps in your knowledge where you're going to have to call in support and a team. It's very hard to do anything by yourself as a business person and as a parent. So I started to see all of these parallels and I was like, wow, I should be vision mapping with my clients.

And so I built that into our, what I call our resilience roadmap, which is our process that I take parents through. At the very beginning, I ask them to map out their vision. And it's a really, really powerful tool because stuff gets hard, right? Any change, any process of change, we literally like we really have a physiological aversion to change. It's really fascinating once you start to understand how the nervous system works and how our brains work like our brains are, and our nervous systems are kind of programmed for status quo, right? They want slow and steady and consistent.

And if you want to change something, your nervous system starts to kick in all of these hormones to like, say, well, no, no, no, no, no, stay the course, go straight. And it takes a ton of energy to deviate, right? And an easy example would be something like exercise, right? If you know you want to get healthy and you want to lose weight and you want to be strong and you want to go to exercise.

But if it's not part of your routine, you will come up with all kinds of excuses as to why you can't. Right? Because it takes a lot of energy to just change your day and your priorities and your thought patterns to include it. And then once you've done that, then it becomes a whole lot easier. But having your vision of what you want life to look like is going to become really handy when stuff gets hard.

And when your nervous system kicks in and says, ah, no, no status quo. It's too hard to do over there. We're going to stay over here. You got to stick to that vision. So that's what I have. That's sort of maybe my first suggestion is to not only think through, but write it down.

What do you want your life to feel like? Look like? Some of the questions that I ask my families to think through is like, what you want your relationship with your child to feel like? What do you want your days to look like and feel like? And here's a really important key to this, and you'll hear this a lot out in the world of vision if you drive into that world. When you write this down and you articulate it, you've got to write it in first person as if it's already happening. And we won't maybe get into the neuroscience of it, but you write it and you think about it as if it's happening.

So my child makes it through their day at school without needing to go to the office and call home because they have a tummy ache. I don't get phone calls home. We sit as a family and eat together, and everyone is pleasant. Like whatever it is for you as if it's already happening.

10:26 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah, no, I love the idea, a vision, and I've always doing things, but also I know for myself when my kids were younger and we were embarking on some massive change in terms of how we did things, when we really started to dig into a lot of the things that we did that made all the difference, which were really hard to do at the time. I also reflected on what would be harder? Is it going to be harder to make that change or is it going to be harder to live the life that we are living right now where my child is uncomfortable in their own skin. Can't even put a sock on without it being a huge challenge or whatever the challenge that you're seeing in your child can be. So it's a combination of two.

I mean, obviously I love your, that that's sort of the reverse of what you were saying, but it is in the same, which is that life like this is not living, it's not thriving. So we're going to need to make that change so that we can have that vision like you just had them describe. And I love the fact that you have them write it down, I think it's really effective.

11:47 Jess Sherman:
And here's an interesting part of that. When you think about your vision and you write it, a lot of what I've noticed is that a lot of parents get very triggered and they get very, the guilt comes in, the shame comes in. The “this is never going to happen" voices come in. The "this isn't possible" voices come in. The, "oh, it's just because they have their diagnosis, why me." All of these sorts of voices start to come in.

And I'm always, I'm constantly telling my clients, just get curious, just notice them, get curious. They are a part of us. They are, all of these voices, like there's no shame in them. They are part of you, but noticing them, getting curious, saying thank you for showing up.

Thank you, doubt, I don't need you right now. Let's have a chat later, you know? And just notice what triggers you and you don't have to know how you're going to achieve your vision. If you knew how you were going to achieve that you would already be there. Right. So, yes, it's going to be hard. Any process of change is hard. Just like what you were saying. Not embrace it, but just acknowledge that change is difficult. You don't know how you're going to get there. That's okay. This is just an exercise in articulating what it is that you want.

Because if you know what you want and you can articulate it, then you can start to fill the pieces in as to, well, maybe we should talk about that next. Like what do I know? What do I need to know more about? Or what strategies or skills do I need in order to make this happen? Because you don't have to know all that stuff in order to create a vision.

13:43 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. So it's interesting. One of the things that you were saying about doubt is BJ Fogg, who is the author of Tiny Habits, but he's a Stanford professor who is world renowned for his knowledge and his research into behavior change. And he presented at a conference I was at once where he was just talking about, in order to change your habits or behaviors, you have to have hope. And one of the things, I think that a lot of us parents that are struggling with children that have these diagnoses or all these symptoms is the hope, sometimes we lose hope that things can change. So it is really important to build a vision, to have that hope, and then we'll figure out how to make that happen or how to make some version of that happen through further steps.

14:42 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. I think that's important. Some version of that, right? Cause things change. And I mean, this is also taken right from the world of business, right? It's like, you can have a three-year vision and you also need to be open to opportunity and change and flexibility in terms of some of those pieces. So yeah, that's important. I like that.

15:07 Tara Hunkin:
So when people are doing this, do you think it helps and you touched on this a little bit, but helps to reflect back on the past or only to look forward.

15:20 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. That's a really important question. It's a good question. I think about it this way. The only reason to look back is to understand how you got here. And the only reason to do that is so that you can make choices for what your next move is going to be. Right. So I think we spend a lot of time looking back and then those same voices, the doubt, the shame, the I wish I had, the how come I didn't know, how come nobody told me, like all of the voices start to come in. Acknowledge them. They are there. You can't really shut them up because they are present, but they're not just, I mean, consider if they're helpful to you or not.

If they're helpful, maybe you listen and you have a chat with them. But if they're not helpful in helping you find your next move, then you don't need them right now. Right? So like an example would be, if you look back and you notice you have a history of antibiotic use and multiple infections, and wow we were in and out of the hospital so many times up to age five. That's important information because now if you're dealing with any kind of immune dysfunction or chronic constipation or gut issues or neurological issues or whatever you're dealing with now, it may have been partly triggered by that.

So we now know that our next move is going to be something to do with assessing the gut microbiome or doing some sort of digestive work, because we know that antibiotics really, really do a number on the gut ecosystem and how we know a lot about the far reaching effects of that. So that's an example. You look back in order to understand how you got here so that you can take your next step.

17:28 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. Makes a lot of sense to me and we do talk a lot about that here, in terms of gathering that data. It's really about data points in order to help you find those root causes, as opposed to, like you said, there's no point to saying, I wish I could have, should have. I mean, we all do that, but it doesn't help us any.

17:51 Jess Sherman:
And it will happen. I mean, I think we also spend a whole lot of time, like trying to just, oh, I wish I didn't feel this way or I wish whatever. And I've really over the last year kind of settled into this idea that whatever voice comes into my head is there for a reason. And it's a part of me. There's a guilt ridden mom in me that wishes I had done things differently. For current me to get into a fight with the guilt me again, it's not a helpful place to put my energy. But it feels a whole lot better to say, oh, hello guilt, thanks for coming. Thanks for showing up. I'm sure you serve a purpose, but right now I don't need you and then move on. For me as a mom, like that is such a more pleasant way to live my day.

18:43 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. Acknowledging and shoo shoo away.

18:46 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. And it's actually a helpful skill, you could teach your kids that too, right. If they have high anxiety and you're trying to figure out why, it changes the dynamic between, oh, we got to fix you because you're anxious. So, in our world, we look into the gut and we look into the neuro-transmitters and we try to tinker in there, but there's a whole nother angle to this to say you're a highly anxious, very sensitive, empathetic person. And there are superpowers in there.

We have to make sure that those superpowers don't get in your way of living a productive, happy life. But this anxiety that bubbles up in you every time you want to do something new is a part of you. And maybe we need to have a conversation with it and say, thanks for showing up and trying to keep me safe from a new opportunity, but I'm actually gonna do this opportunity, take this on. It's just a different way of looking at it. The mindset around these things is incredibly important for both us and our kids.

19:52 Tara Hunkin:
So let's say we're taking a fresh start. We go, okay. What happened in the past happened in the past, I'm ready to move forward. How do you recommend parents determine where they should start? What should that first step be?

20:11 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. So after you've done your vision, share your vision with whoever is involved in your parenting, your parenting partner, or your parents if they're grandparents are involved or whoever's in your child's immediate sphere of influence, share it with them.

That's a whole conversation of itself. Right? How do you share that, but I do actually have some stuff on my blog around having conversations with people who really don't understand what you're doing. So maybe that's a resource we can link people to. So, but after you've done that, then the next thing to think about is like, okay, so where do I need some support? Like, where should I focus my energy? If I'm here and I want to get here, what's in the middle?

This is where a lot of people either try to figure it out themselves or they join a group like yours or they hire a coach like me or something to guide them from point a to point B. Right. Cause it's messy in there. And I really like frameworks because if you're gonna try to make your way through this mess, whether you have a guide or not, you need a framework otherwise you're just going to like spin around and tumble.

And it gets inefficient, let's call it that. So I'll offer you a couple of frameworks and people can kind of take them if they resonate. Does that sound good? Sound okay?

21:49 Tara Hunkin:
Sounds perfect.

21:50 Jess Sherman:
So I have found, we gotta be efficient with our time and our energy, right? So we want a big bang for our buck.

So there are three things. I call them the trifecta for resilient health that we focus on in our coaching. But we always kind of wrap around. We're like, okay, let's work on this one now this one, cause you can't do all three at once usually. But you can choose one, assess how they're doing and decide if you want to focus there.

So the three of them are eating. So that would be like the picky eating, the family meals. How is the stress and the pressure meal planning? Do you even know whether your child is getting sufficient nutrition? Do you know what that looks like? What does that mean? Do you know what a balanced plate should be?

Can you look at a recipe and decide whether it's nutritionally balanced? So anything to do with eating. The second piece is sleeping. Is your child sleeping? Are they able to fall asleep, stay asleep? Are there nightmares? Are they waking up feeling well rested? Is nighttime a battle? I see this a lot, right? Does your child just get revved up at night?

And they just start spinning and you can't get them asleep? That's the second bucket. And then the third is pooping. Is there constipation, diarrhea, belly pain, withholding those sorts of things. So the reason I think of these three buckets, eating, sleeping, and pooping, is because if there are issues in those three things that there's massive trickle-down effect, right?

So it's like we're working at the headwaters instead of chasing symptoms all the time. Like, why is there anxiety? Why is there explosive behavior? Let's work upstream at the headwaters. Are they eating? Are they sleeping? Are they pooping? And so as you listen to this, you can sink through like, well, where are the holes, right? Where are the major red flags?

Might be all three, but the first kind of stage of this fresh start is just assessing where you're at. Be like, yeah, last year we worked on pooping and we got that. That's awesome. Now we're gonna work on bedtime or whatever it is. So that's one framework that I can offer if that makes sense.

24:33 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah, totally. And it's nice to have it simplified and people that are listening that are familiar with our free toolkit, we have a food mood, sleep and poop journal that we should be tracking that data. And in order to figure out how these things interconnect. So I think it's a great place and I love just the simplicity of the three things that you're focusing on.

24:57 Jess Sherman:
Well, like you just said, like they do interconnect and there's lots of complicated physiology and there's tests you can do. And there's all kinds of strategies underneath all of those things. But the reason I like it as a framework is because you can listen to a webinar or a summit or have a consultation with a doctor or all of the things that I know everybody's always in an information gathering zone. Right. Of just like, I need more information. Why this, why that? And then it's kind of like you're throwing spaghetti at the fridge.

I don't know if people do that anymore, but it's like, see what sticks? You're like, oh, what can I be trying this, okay, now we're going to try this. And now we're going to try this. And I find it helpful to have these buckets because you can then have your experiences and gather your knowledge and try to fit them into one of those three buckets. And some of the strategies you're going to want to bench. You're gonna be like okay, I know we should be turning wifi off at night and I know that we got to get the computers out of the other room and all this stuff. But right now that just feels undoable.

So we're going to put that in this bucket and we're not gonna do anything about it just yet, but we're going to come back to because right now the main issue is we got to get this kid pooping. Right. So you can't do it all at the same time. You got to work through things systematic.

26:17 Tara Hunkin:
Well, it's funny that you say that, cause I was going to ask the question, do you suggest diving all in or taking it baby steps? And I guess, I think I know your answer.

26:30 Jess Sherman:
Well, the answer really is that it depends on how much bandwidth you have, right? Because what I don't want you to do and what parents do all the time is burn themselves out. Right? And then your own anxiety goes up and your own panic goes up. And guys like we co-regulate with our kids. If we are trying to help our children live a more relaxed, calm, focused life so that they could develop to their fullest capacity, we need to find some balance in ourselves and you will not find that kind of balance if you try to do it all.

You'll just make yourself, you'll work yourself up into a tizzy. So that's where it's really helpful to have your kind of membership, like a place where you can go, that's going to hold the space for you and hold the plan and just continually remind you like, okay, it's okay. It's okay.

Like one step in front of the other. So yeah, the answer is really to assess your bandwidth and to say like how much energy do you have and time and money and just all your resources do you have to put in to this?

27:40 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. And it is always about that. It's about assessing your resources and then identifying those things that make the most sense to take on at that particular point in time.

So I've talked about this before. I was the all-in, I'm typically like, I have the personality of the all or nothing. So we go over the top and people would ask and I'm like, no, no, no, I would not recommend you do that. That is not the most recommended, but if it is your personality and that is the way you like to do things, then you go ahead and do that. But just a full well knowing that that can lead to burnout and you have to be super careful when you go to do that.

28:25 Jess Sherman:
It's like the oxygen mask, right. It's like you could tell me as many times as you want to put my oxygen mask on first. I'm not going to do it, I'm gonna put it on my kid first. Right. And that's an instinct that we have.

Right. So I think what you just said is brilliant that you have to assess your own personality type, but you just have to be aware that the more you want to do, the more you're going to bite off what's the word? You can bite off more than you can chew. Yeah, exactly. The more of your personal resources it's going to take, it's going to take time, money, and energy. Right. And so if you're very well-nourished and you have a lot of good strong resources and you've got a good strong support system, then you'll be able to do more quicker.

29:19 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. And so it's interesting, kind of goes back also when you talk about that support system. So the support system can be everything from you've got brilliant practitioners that you're working with, a great team that way it could be, and, or family or friends that support you, a spouse, whatever it might be. But that's why building that support system, or as we call it the village, like you're building your village, it becomes so important because that is a resource in and of itself.

And when you can share your vision, like you talked about with that village, you're going to see that things are going to change a lot faster because you're all thinking and doing and envisioning the same end result, which makes a massive difference in terms of resistance to what you're trying to accomplish.

30:14 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. And if your child is old enough and receptive, you can even share that vision with them. Have them create their own vision, have them go through their process, you go through your process and then you can share them. Very powerful.

30:30 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. I think especially as the kids get older, involving them in that process is essential because the reality is is that as much as we can make these changes for the kids, when they're younger, as they become independent, I have two teenagers now, so I see that they have to make their own choices and it becomes their choice as they move forward. So if it's not part of their vision for who they're going to be and how they want to live, then it's not going to happen.

30:59 Jess Sherman:
So, Yeah. And you can even take those three buckets, the eating, sleeping, and pooping, if they're old enough and you can ask them to self-assess, how are these things? And just know, like by way of background, they're all interconnected, right? The more you poop, the better you'll sleep and the better you sleep, the better you'll eat. And the better you eat, the better your poop. And like all of them, they're all interconnected. It really doesn't matter where you start. But what you can do is ask them what are their goals? And you can just know in the background, whatever goal they have, you'll be connected to those three things.

31:37 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah. Right. It's so true and it is interesting when they start to see click between what they want to accomplish, what it is they're interested in, you can almost, like you said, you can almost always find a thread in there in terms of how you can help them achieve that goal through making some of these.

31:58 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. And then you can ask them, which one would they like to start with? Maybe they are having like terrible sleep and they just want to get a handle on that. Maybe they have like terrible cramps and they can't poo or whatever or diarrhea. Maybe they want to work on that. So little threads that you can pull out.

31:18 Tara Hunkin:
I mean, we can always use that same framework that we all do and that you're getting your kids to first choose what they want to wear, but you don't want to give them the vast open question of what would you like to wear today? You can also give them some set, three choices of specific things they could do. Did you want to try this? Or do you want to try this? Or did you want to try this?

32:39 Jess Sherman:
Yeah, it's so interesting. I've had a few conversations with parents who go through this process of when you start, when you get the diagnosis or you have the initial struggles, or all of a sudden, you realize your child's struggling. There's this phase of like, oh, we got to fix this. Oh my gosh, why is this happening? And there's like, tons of energy gets put into figuring it out.

But then there's often this transition into just understanding your child and working through problems with your child, which is a very different energy to it. And what we were just talking about is very much this whole working through a problem with your child. It goes from this sort of stressful, like this is tearing the family apart kind of energy to, we're going to work through this together and we're going to learn about our bodies together.

It's this coming together kind of very strong attachment based energy to it. And it's a very interesting transition. I see families going through it often.

33:53 Tara Hunkin:
Yeah, it is. If you can, and your child is capable and they're of age, it really does make a massive difference in terms of also keeping the family dynamic intact, instead of it feels like it's being jammed down their throats, which I know at times sometimes it's necessary and sometimes though it just, it just feels that way unnecessarily. It can really throw things off.

34:16 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. Yeah. And it does tend to be kind of a cyclical process, right? It's not like you started at this at this point, you end up at this point.

It is constantly evolving and moving and if you can just sort of keep again a good solid framework in place and vision, then you'll start to recognize the stages of that cyclical process. You're like, oh, look, we're here again. Okay. Where am I? What's in my toolbox for this? Oh, okay, we're going to get to here again. Now what what's in my toolbox here.

So that's really my end game is to bring parents to this point where they have their custom toolbox. They know what's going on in their child. They know their vulnerabilities and their tendencies and their biology and their psychology. They know all this stuff about their kid and they have their toolbox and they can pull out the tools that they need when they need them.

35:06 Tara Hunkin:
That's amazing. So this has been a great conversation today. I want to ask you though one last question. If there's one thing that you want parents to do to get started today, in terms of moving forward, what would you recommend they start with right away?

35:14 Jess Sherman:
Gosh, I think it's the vision. Here's what I think.

And this works for me. So you're going to have to decide whether this works for you. I always think more clearly when I am walking, amidst something natural, trees, rivers, something, with nothing in my ears. Right. Not trying to learn something new, not trying to listen to a podcast, not trying to sort some things out or talking to someone, this is just for me.

So when I want some clarity, when I want a sort of a fresh start, I do that. I go for a walk in the forest. I happen to live near a forest. So it's helpful, but parks will work. I find running water completely soothing. So if you can get near a stream or a river and think through that vision and breathe, make sure you're breathing. Breath is the stuff of momentum. Right?

So breathing deeply and just thinking about what it is that you want to have happen. And often parents will just get a download, right? It'll start gushing out and be like, this is it. Detach from the how you don't need to know how you're going to get this, just articulate what it is that you want. So I think that's the first thing is go for a walk by yourself with nature, with nothing in your ears and just articulate all of those things. It makes a lot of sense to me.

37:05 Tara Hunkin:
And for those of you that aren't near nature, the shower usually suffices the rest of the time. There's a lot of really good stuff, it must be the running water.

37:19 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. The warmth. Often people will also do it like as they're lying in bed, either falling asleep or just upon waking, like, just keep a pad by your bed. Those seem to be those kinds of open moments. I'll also put a little plug in for just nourishing your own body too.

Right. We really can't think clearly, and we can't be open to possibilities when we don't feel good. Right. When we don't feel good, you just kind of spiral into the negative space. So, if you plan on this, do it on a day, when, if you know what supplements work for you, or, you know what foods work for you, like do it on a day where you're nourishing yourself that day cause you'll be in a better head space for all of this.

38:19 Tara Hunkin:
That all makes so much sense Jess and it's so timely. So I really appreciate your time today with us. I know you have a podcast coming out soon, and I want you to tell people about that and also where they can find you and look to work with you if they are needing some help in this regard.

38:39 Jess Sherman:
Yeah. So the podcast is very exciting. It's called Feeding Families. And it's part of a broader network of podcasts that are really aimed at parents who want to live more healthy, sustainable, eco-friendly lives and think holistically about how they raise their kids. So we'll link to that here. My particular podcast is all about food and feeding. So we are tackling all kinds of topics from the nuts and bolts of kids' nutrition, right up to the struggles of actually getting food into their mouths and budget issues and making choices at the grocery store.

So I'm very excited for some of the experts that we have lined up for that. And then my home base for all the other stuff is at jesssherman.com, three S as in a row. And there's information on there about my calm and clear kids program, which is really for getting started making changes. And then my resilience roadmap, we go deep into all things biology, psychology, parenting, all stuff.

39:54 Tara Hunkin:
That's awesome. And I also, we'll put a link obviously to Jess' website in the show notes and also to her great book as well, and if you are listening to podcasts, you can scroll back in the feed in terms of the episodes and you'll also find a great episode I did with Jess a while back on her book as well. So thanks again for your time and your wisdom and for all the work you do with all the parents out there, like us that are struggling with our kids. We really appreciate that you're there for us.

40:30 Jess Sherman:
Thank you. Happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

40:33 Tara Hunkin:
My Pleasure. So that's a wrap. Thanks for joining me this week on My Child Will Thrive. I'm so passionate about giving you the tools and information you need to help your child recover. And as they say, it takes a village. So join us in the My Child Will Thrive village Facebook group, where you can meet like-minded parents and stay up to date on everything we have going on at My Child Will Thrive. This is Tara Hunkin and I'll catch you on the next podcast or over at My Child Will Thrive dot com.

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